MR PERFECT BBQ CONNECTING MEN

The next Mr Perfect BBQ is this coming Sunday June 23 from 10.30 to midday at Parmelia Park, Chester Road in South Fremantle.

WHAT IS MR PERFECT?
A community organisation connecting men across Australia over a relaxed free BBQ to chat about all things life.

But we are more than a BBQ. Online we provide quality resources for the good of men’s mental health.

WHY DO IT?
Conversation (and listening) always helps.
Weather, work, footy, family challenges and life changes.

Getting outside in the sunshine is healthy.
An antidote to the COVID-age isolation, meeting a welcoming bunch of guys.

Meeting new mates.
Our community has met outside of the BBQ, to cycle, have coffee and form a support network.

Roel Loopers

GRANTS FOR COMMUNITY MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT

I re-post this Facebook information from MP Josh Wilson about grants from Australia Post for community mental health support.

MR PERFECT SUPPORT FOR MEN

The next MR PERFECT free BBQ for men will be held this Sunday May 19 at Parmelia Park in South Fremantle from 10.30 am till midday.

These events are very important for the mental health of men, and to connect with new people. Making new friends, finding support, feeling comfortable to talk about the issues one has to deal with, in a safe and non judgmental setting. Give it a try!

Roel Loopers

THE AGE OF DISCONNECTION

This is my slightly altered Roel’s Round weekly column in the Fremantle Herald this weekend. Please advertise in our Freo Cook! We need our one and only local community newspaper!

Here is my ‘rant’:

The recent terrible events in Sydney should be a wake up call for our entire nation, that our current status quo is no longer working. We have created a society of disconnect. Disconnect that is resulting in violence, hatred and murder.

It is somehow irrelevant if people kill because of terrorism or mental health issues, because all of them are perpetrated by people who are disconnected from society and their communities.

We are proud that Australia is a multicultural society, but at the same time there are still many who insist we are a Christian country. We have people who claim not to be racists, but who don’t like Aborigines, coloured people, Muslims, etc. For them there is something wrong with anyone who is different from the norm they set for themselves. Our lack of tolerance is as disappointing as it is worrying.

Nationalism and tribalism are running riot. We believe in an urban myth and claim to be the best country in the world, where everyone gets a fair go, because we are oh so tolerant. That is ignorant nonsense. There is a lot of religious, racial, political, gender, and social intolerance in our country, and there is an unacceptable and unexplainable high degree of domestic violence.

Tribalism starts early in life, when people join a sports team. That supposedly also means one has to hate every other team in the competition. If you are a Fremantle Dockers fan, you have to hate the West Coast Eagles, and all other clubs and their supporters. How more silly can it get? It is only sport, not war, FFS! It moves on to politics from there, so we hate all those on the other side(s) of politics and accuse them of being biased. Like in religion, my leader, my God, is better than yours, so we argue, fight, stop listening, and close our minds and hearts. That too creates isolation.

After thousands of years we still engage in religious wars. What is happening in Gaza is a war between Christians and Muslims. The initial murders and kidnapping at a music festival by Hamas terrorists, resulted in even more devastating violence by Israel. Those who condemn that and support Palestinians are dismissed as being antisemitic.

We hate, judge, dismiss and ignore. Those whom we consider not to be normal, whatever that means, are treated with contempt. Ask the homeless, vagrants, dark coloured, gays, lesbians and trans people, and those with mental health issues, how people look down on them. We do not connect well, or not at all, with those who are different, hence they feel rejected and very isolated. That creates resentment and anger, that sadly sometimes escalates in violence and murder.

The main media is obsessed with reporting negative stories, and whilst social media gives us a great opportunity to connect, it has created more divisiveness, because there is a mass spreading of disinformation, conspiracy and nastiness, together with live streaming of murder and violence, as did happen during the Bondi Junction stabbings. We are constantly confronted with misery, but rarely do we get positive stories reported in the media. That makes vulnerable people even more apprehensive about life.

The feeling of isolation and disconnect from the community also applies to young people and seniors. There is an huge sense of loneliness in our society, hence we hear of tiny children committing suicide, but many grown up men also no longer see a future.

We can not expect our governments to do it all for us. It is up to all of us, each and everyone of us, to reach out and connect to those who are different, or just bloody lonely. We need to learn to understand and accept our differences better. It should not matter at all in which one of the mythical Gods one wants to believe. What does matter is that we take responsibility for our own actions and attitude, and care about others. Connecting with everyone in our communities will result in a much safer and more coherent society, a society where we show respect and tolerance for others.

Roel Loopers

IT’S TIME TO KILL AUSTRALIA’S URBAN MYTH

The rejection of the Voice referendum is deeply disappointing, but was predictable from the outset, because Australians have believed in their own urban myth that we are a fair go, she’ll be right, tolerant country, for far too long. The silly myth that we are larrikins like Crocodile Dundee, who happily live in the red dirt, shooting kangaroos and battling with huge crocodiles. We are not!

The happy go lucky, best country on earth brand the marketing and advertising people have given our country is far remote from the reality of racism, misogyny and cultural intolerance. The identity we believe in is not a country that has a strong rejection of Aboriginal people and their culture. If you believe I am wrong and over the top, ask the coloured people in this country about the regular racism and rejections they have to put up with, ask all those women who are the victims of brutal domestic violence, ask those with an accent, who come to start a new life here, but can’t find a job because they have no Australian experience, even when they have the qualifications.

Australia is a wonderful country, full of wonderful people and full of immense contradictions. It is a country where many people will go out of their way to help and support others, while many others refuse to educate and inform themselves, and live in blissful ignorance, as the outcome of the referendum shows.

We are a very long way away from a country of equity, respect and equality, when Aboriginal children as young as seven commit suicide, because they believe death is a better future than life. That reality should shake us out of our complacency and seriously want a huge improvement in the living standards of our First Nations People.

When there still is only a very remote chance for most Aboriginal children of ever making it into university, than there is something seriously wrong with Australia. When our Aboriginal people on average die eight years earlier than the average Australian, we should know that we have to do better.

For the 41 years I have lived in Australia I have often felt as if I am watching the slow suicide of a wonderful culture and its people. I have felt enormously powerless to fight the ingrained racism, especially against Aborigines. I have listened in pubs and shops to the snide remarks about our indigenous people, and listened to the huge ignorance about them and their culture. Instead of reaching out and trying to connect, many Australians reject and judge.

We live in a country where people will ask if you saw the five obnoxiously drunken Aborigines, while totally accepting the dozens of annoying white drunks who wander the streets of our cities on the weekends, because that’s what we Aussies do. Many go out to get pissed, and that’s OK, because it is the Aussie way, but only when you are white.

We need to wake up from our urban myth nonsense and start dealing with our reality of cultural intolerance and the fact that a very large number of Australians have very little respect and tolerance for Aboriginal people, and those who are different.

Although I am deeply frustrated, I still believe Australia is a better country than that. If I did not, and if I did not believe there is hope, I would not continue to live here, but move on instead.

What is desperately needed though, is better education about our First Nations People, and trying to connect all of us, so that we can come together for a yarn, a chat, a bit of friendly banter. That we learn to appreciate our differences, and come to the realisation that we have so much in common despite them. As a big Aboriginal man in Fitzroy Crossing said to me one day “Isn’t it amazing, bro, that we both got red blood and brown shit.” Yes, and we also all have a heart, that we need to engage more often. What Australia needs is more empathy, respect, compassion and tolerance for those who are different.

The Australian Electoral Commission reports that even in progressive Fremantle the NO vote was 53.24% and the YES vote only 46.76%. To clarify that. This is the Federal Seat of Fremantle, that extends well beyond the boundaries of the City of Fremantle!

Roel Loopers

JOIN THE HEADSPACE YOUTH GROUP

MENTAL HEALTH TRAINING FOR NOTRE DAME STUDENTS

Fremantle Notre Dame University students will be able to attend free mental health first aid training courses.

100 students from the Fremantle campus will be given the opportunity to take part in a two-day mental health training course that is akin to a physical first aid course.

The nationally accredited course will teach students how to respond to people who are experiencing a mental health crisis, giving them the confidence to start a conversation that could save a life.

The free training is the result of a university-first partnership between Notre Dame and youth mental health charity 20Talk.

20Talk general manager and Notre Dame student Lachlan O’Donoghue said the training would help students understand the signs, symptoms and early interventions for common mental health disorders.

“Having this training available and made free to young people – especially those within a university environment – not only helps the individual, it also helps all of their peers as well,” he said.

Mental health first aid courses at Notre Dame will start next month and will run until December. Students who are interesting in taking part can email studentwellbeing@nd.edu.au

Roel Loopers

DON’T CLOWN AROUND WITH MENTAL HEALTH

Life is not always perfect, but how we deal with the ups and downs makes a huge difference. Sometimes it all seems too much to cope with, so reaching out and finding support can be life saving.

There is a lot of real empathy in the Fremantle community, and people willing to go out of their way to help those in need.

Never believe you are the only one who is dealing with depression or anxiety. Many have been there and done that, and I don’t mean that flippantly at all.

Don’t be too proud. You are not a loser when you have mental health issues. Life can be bloody hard and very disappointing, so grab the hands that are reaching out to help you pull out of that deep dark hole! Talk to a friend, a total stranger, or a medical practioner. We are all here for you, for all of you!

Roel Loopers

WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY

So many suffer in silence, ashamed to admit that they suffer from depression, anxiety, or other forms of mental health concerns. Coming out of the closet with it and admitting one has issues is the first step, as I know from previous experiences.

The world is full of good and caring people, who are willing to support those of us who suffer. There is no shame in sharing one’s worries with others. Sometimes just talking, just getting a hug and a smile, feeling that one belongs and is appreciated, is enough to get one back on the road, and crawling out of that enormous black hole, that appeared impossible to conquer. Loving oneself too is extremely important.

The world is not a perfect place, and neither are we human beings. We all fail sometimes, we all long for comfort, security and love.

There is great comfort when people show us they appreciate us, so smile at a stranger, say hello to those who live on the street, be considerant and tolerant, and embrace those who are different. Life is good!

Roel Loopers

IT’S R U OK? DAY- LET’S LOOK AFTER EACH OTHER!

Today is R U OK? Day – a national day of action dedicated to reminding everyone that every day is the day to ask, “Are you OK?” and support those struggling with life’s ups and downs.

Roel Loopers