Freo's View

REDLIGHTS FOR FREO’S WEST END

Posted in arthur head, city of fremantle, local government, tourism, Uncategorized by freoview on June 21, 2017

 

Imagine Arthur Head

 

We all have them, those Eureka moments in life, when one wakes up and one has found the solution for a major problem, as I did this morning knowing I had found the perfect activation concept for Fremantle’s historic West End and Arthur Head.

Not even Jay Dee the Pres. of Ef Es could have anything against something that is older than heritage, and it is something most port cities of the world have.

My award-winning placemaking brilliance will see Arthur Head transformed into a red light district, mirrored on the famous Reeperbahn in Hamburg and the Walletjes in Amsterdam. It will guarantee 24/7 activation of the dormant West End and substantially add to Fremantle’s port city reputation.

Prostitution is one of the oldest professions in the world, so very heritage, and a port city without a red light district is like a ship without the ocean.

The area has been struggling since all the pubs in High Street were closed and Fremantle Council decided to make the heritage precinct into an arts precinct, and when our elected members thought that a 1,500 patron live outdoor music venue and 800 patron booze barn was exactly what they wanted when they asked in the Expressions of Interest for an art related cafe. They kinda got the wording of the EOI wrong, one has to assume. But no worries, Loopy comes to the rescue!

Imagine the cottages alongs Captain’s and Mrs Trivett lanes, and the Roundhouse all lit up in red at night, and girls offering their beauty behind the windows. Imagine what a fantastic and popular tourist attraction it would be!

I fondly remember the days when my mum insisted dad should take me with him when he delivered cigarettes to the aunties of the redlight district in the Hague. Especially during the Christmas period it was a sight to behold when the aunties lit up their bodies with flashing Christmas lights that wound around their substantial and well-exposed boobs, and to my bewilderment also in a V-shape between their equally well-exposed thighs. It took me many years of growing up to found out what was so special about that V-spot.

I also propose a Swingers Swap Market in the Roundhouse on Friday nights, where couples can exchange partners, or hook up for foursomes, and Sexpos in the old goal once a month there.

If the posts of the Curfew Bell were changed from square ones to round we could also have pole-dancing nights in the historic setting.

Instead of the proposed tavern train wreck at J Shed Sun Sex Erects could transform the Number One unit into a live sex venue with peep shows, striptease and simulated sex acts on stage, and a bar that sells cheap ‘champagne’ for exorbitant prices.

The rhythmic sound of many one hands clapping would go well with the industrial sounds of grinders and power tools coming from the Greg James sculpture studio next door.

I truly believe that this is an award-winning idea and that I have just written the perfect job application to replace the City of Fremantle’s director of economic development and marketing. Sorry Tom!

Someone more famous than I ever will be once said “Let there be Light!” so I’ll steal it from him and say Let there be Redlight Freo!

Roel Loopers

5 Responses

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  1. Natalie said, on June 21, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    There was a porno shot in the Round House while we lived up there! There was even a helicopter filming from above and very heavy bikie security. Some of the craziest fews days in all my time on Captains Lane.

  2. Lionel said, on June 21, 2017 at 2:46 pm

    Throw in some special cafes and I’m on board.

  3. Coliln Nichol said, on June 21, 2017 at 11:05 am

    It’s been done, Roel!.You’re proposing a return to the Fremantle of the first half of the 20th century..

  4. Pete said, on June 21, 2017 at 10:54 am

    Have I lost track of time ? Has April 1 arrived already ? Must admit Dick moved for the first time in seven weeks … or is it months ? Gay sauna for the west end … wow !

  5. Carl Payne said, on June 21, 2017 at 9:32 am

    Brilliant……………and the submarine presently languishing in flaccid inactivity next to the Marry-me-anytime Museum could be repositioned in High Street; and erected to stand tall and proud, nose pointing to the sky, as a symbol of virility and community pride.


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