ARE YOU JUST A BIT OKAY TODAY?
It is R U OK? Day today, a day where we are reminded off the very high rate of suicide and mental health problems in Australia. We even have a very high rate of youth suicide that is very disturbing.
Of suicides in Australia 75% are committed by men who in our macho society still find it hard to seek help and that needs to change, as there is no shame in admitting that one is battling the black dog.
When someone tells you they are not o.k don’t say that there are many people worse off, because it is totally irrelevant for those who are in the deepest, darkest and loneliest space in the universe in the jaws of the black dog.
Depression and anxiety is not some selfish self-indulgence and feeling sorry for oneself, so being told to stop whingeing because other people are worse off is like being told that one is a loser who should stop the poor me attitude.
Depression is a very frightening emotion where one sees no future and no way out of that huge black hole, and one believes that no one can help because no one understands. It is a deeply lonely battle where one feels absolutely abandoned by the world and all one wants is peace and to not wake up the next morning.
Committing suicide is not a selfish and coward act but one of utter desperation because one sees no other way out. It is the most awful soul-destroying feeling of aloneness that is impossible for me to put in words. It makes me shudder to even think off it.
The black dog keeps coming back in the most unexpected moments and when one believes one has won the fight. That awful pressure of anxiety in one’s chest is only made a little more bearable by hoping that it might be the start of a heart attack and that life will soon end, so that one hopefully does not have to commit suicide.
It is easy to smile and show a stiffer upper lip and to answer I am okay when people ask, but deep inside one knows one is just a little bit okay for a short while, maybe a whole day, but many evenings we go to bed and ask the universe to not let us wake up tomorrow because we are so exhausted fighting depression.
So thank you, I am okay today and will have great fun talking to many international visitors at the Roundhouse, and I sincerely wish and hope that YOU are okay as well!